Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
