Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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