READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
