He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
