Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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