i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I have already put on my inside pants.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
