The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
