Having a random hookup so left but love u
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
