I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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