Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
