The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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