Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
