White coat. Heels.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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