did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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