walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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