I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
