I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
