I smell stomach acid.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
