If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize