I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
