If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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