Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
