i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Randomize
