absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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