so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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