i already hear my dad disowning me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
