do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
