What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
