I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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