PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
