I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
