I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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