If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
