When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
