He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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