The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
