so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
