I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
