So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
