how hairy? two words: wookie tits
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
