Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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