when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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