She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We are two peas in an std pod
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You're breaking my sexual little heart
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize