the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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