I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
