I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
