The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize