can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
