she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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