I heard we made out
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Randomize
