i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize