This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
