he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
They are going to name an STD after you.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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