I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize