We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
