so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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