omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We need to get me chipped asap
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
