I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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