that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
