Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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